Three's Company!
by Lilac's Garden of Inspiration
Summary: In which, the author tries her hand at 'subtext', and KHR slash ensues. This'll be a 'two-arbitrary-blokes/Tsuna' story. Not necessarily 182769. Rated 'T', because the author's sense of humor filters through, also swearing. Please enjoy the crazy, mostly unconnected one-shots. Formerly: Shipping and Handling) [On temp. hiatus]
1. Talking

**Welcome to my newest- other than Miraculous Madness- story! I call it 'Shipping and Handling'!**

 **.:edit_March 7th 2017: I changed the title. It's now "Three's Company!" The basis of the story is listed below, I just figured 'Shipping and Handling' was a little bit .. odd, hence the change./edit:.**

 **Why? Well, based off of the fandom term shipping, and the (man)handling, or (mis)handling of these characters, I thought I'd add my two cents to the craziness. It's also KHR, YAY! I loove KHR for whatever reason, and Tsuna is just so precious, I can't help but mess with him... :D I'm a jerk!**

 **This is (** _supposed to be_ **) a 'short', 'little' project of mine. Enjoy the madness!**

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1] **Talking**

 ** _A/N:_** _Talking is the minific that will ship Longchamp, Tsuna and Basil. Why these three? It was an arbitrary choice, mostly, and I wanted compare their styles of talking- Basil is old-fashioned and soft-spoken, Longchamp is (a lot) more outgoing and... eh, vocal... while Tsuna is withdrawn, self-conscious and hesitant- unless, of course, it pertains to one of Reborn's schemes... **Which it totally does**..._ **:D**

 _(I should stop drinking coffee after 6pm... Ahaha...)_

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"Sawada-dono, I must confess, I do not understand why you wanted me to follow Tsunayoshi-dono to school." Basil stared at his boss, perplexed by the older blond's odd request. The older man was determined to protect his ' _dear Tsuna-fishie_ ', even though the boy had his Guardians, and the World's Strongest Hitman around him almost always, and the bosses of the Tomaso, Simon, Chiavarone, Giglio Nero and Neo Gesso Famiglias were in nigh-constant communication with the Decimo- as to be expected when the young bosses of the Simon and Tomaso Famiglias were two of Tsuna's schoolmates. 'Not that I really trust the Tomaso boss all that much..' Basil mused, 'He is too caught up in being a would-be Cassanova to help Tsunayoshi-dono... _Not in the way I can_...'

* * *

 _[This is actually a line break{What?! I didn't order a double-whip mocha frappe!}Deal with it]_

"Tsuna-fishie~! Come here and give your papa a hug~!" Tsuna's entire class, including the returned Reboyama-sensei, stared at the admittedly well-dressed blond weirdo that just barged into the classroom, ranting about Dame-Tsuna- those who knew Tsuna closely knew that the short brunette's temper was piqued that day, and Iemitsu just had to go and do a dumb thing, in public- which really soured the normally chill, 'just-roll-with-the-wacky-antics' persona Tsuna had adopted.

The young Decimo was rather pissed off, and was inching towards the edge of his seat when Basil's usually calm, but not-so much at the moment, voice drifted closer to the door as the older teen got closer to the classroom. When he got to the doorframe, he held Iemitsu back from attempting to glomp his 'adorable lil' Tuna'.

The calmer blond looked actually angry with his boss- which was more than evident in the way he addressed the older man, a stern, steely ' _I'm-actually-done-with-your-shit-for-the-next-five-years_ ' tone of voice, "No! Sawada-dono! What did Lal try to hammer into your skull?! What did Oregano say?! What have I been trying to tell you for the last fifteen minutes!?" The young CEDEF agent struggling to contain his annoyance at his boss' impulsivity.

Unintentionally, Basil's own anger towards his occasionally stupider-than-stupid boss snapped Tsuna from his anger towards his stupider-than-stupid father; in an instant, the brunette calmed down enough to realize the comedy that was currently his life, and looked for all the world like he was about to start hysterically laugh-crying.

* * *

Longchamp stifled a laugh at the expense of his fellow boss, the tiny brunette's anger unmistakable, yet still rather laughable- who was this clown? How were they even in the Vongola Familglia? Tsuna's eyes narrowed, a hint of amber flashing, the temperature of the room seemed to drop several degrees. Tsuna spoke, with enough ice in his voice to make a glacier jealous, "Otou-san, why are you here? Better question: how on Earth did you even know where my class is? How hasn't Hibari-san attempted to maim you yet?"

This cool dismissal had the effect of making Iemitsu look like Tsuna just kicked his puppy, and he sank into a depressed crouch, a storm cloud seeming to appear over his head. The entire class- sans Tsuna- sweatdropped; Tsuna's glare intensified, and there was an impression that if Tsuna could create ice, there would be a sheet of it covering the walls and floors, and icicles dangling precariously over his oafish father. Several people shuddered at the sudden image- Longchamp included. 'I wouldn't really want to be his dad right now...'

* * *

As Tsuna's glare intensified, Basil flinched a bit, the sheer frigidness in the young Tenth's eyes palpable, as he waited for his halfwit father's response. The three of them would no doubt be having a talk later, if Basil read the promise of pain in Tsuna's normally warm eyes.

All the while, Reborn had a sort-of satisfied smirk on his face, Dame-Tsuna had a backbone, he knew, but a temper, oho, well... He could work with that, it was always beneficial that a boss knew how to hold back or re-utilize anger, and identifying berserk buttons- well, it had the added benefit of being an amusing way to see who thought an angry Tsuna was a hot Tsuna- and was that interest in the young Tomaso boss' eyes? Was that the spark of arousal in Iemitsu's apprentice's gaze? Would Tsuna notice? Who was he kidding, he was going to find out what other little things that made Dame-Tsuna tick, and he was sure as hell gonna make sure that he had a certain audience... 'Oh yes,' Reborn thought, as the satisfied smirk became much more devilish, 'This is going to be good...'

* * *

 **Talking? Who actually** _does_ **that?**

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A/N: Cheers lovies! You finished the first part of 11 KHR snapshots! You who are interested in this, you have 10 more chapters! I have to finish writing these! :D Aie, why do I do this to myself?


	2. Ir-Responsible

**Here we go, chapter two!**

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2] **Ir/Responsible**

 **A/N:** _Well, here it is, ship #2. It's Teen!Lambo and Lancia this time! Aha.. um, yes. I guess it's a little late to say I grabbed, like, 20 names, stuck 'em together at random in pairs, asked a friend for six prompts/titles, did the other five m'self, and used a randomizer to pick. But, yeah, that's what I did. So expect another (1 down, yer readin' this one, so there'll be... uh... nine-ish more to go! **Allons-y, ma cheres!**_

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It was interesting; the contrast between the irresponsible Lambo and the _very_ responsible Lancia. The more Tsuna actually thought about it, the more his head hurt- he was friends with both boys, and both were exchange students were from Italy, but they acted in completely different manners- Lambo was childish and, more oft then not, rude. Lancia, on the other hand was slightly aloof, yet polite. He was also quieter, and less prone to getting into fights- in fact the tall teen was quite good at finishing them. Lambo- _oh brother_ \- Lambo was a showboat, a would-be tough guy- a crybaby instigator: he'd rile an opponent up, then whine and cry if he got trounced. And 'trounced' was often the outcome of his fights; occasionally, that wasn't the case, and Lambo actually pulled off a victory- but those times seemed few and far between.

.

Too caught in his thoughts, Tsuna didn't notice as Lambo walked up behind him, until the curly-haired teen pulled the brunette into an embrace, and tucked his face in the crook of Tsuna's neck that wasn't covered by the collared shirt that he wore. "Hey," the green-eyed teen whispered, instead of his usual exuberant greeting, "Hey Lambo." Tsuna greeted back. The brunette felt Lambo pout against his skin, and suppressed a little shiver. "Lancia was complaining about how I'm too irresponsible for my age.. That isn't true Tsu-chan, is it?" Tsuna patted the slightly taller teens arm in a, he hoped, comforting manner as he thought about what to say- he didn't want to say yes, and depress Lambo any further, but he also didn't want to say no and encourage bad behavior... What to say, what to say...

.

 _[{Urgh... this isn't even coffee!}]_

 _[{It's mostly cream and sugar! How on_ _ **Earth**_ _can somebody even stomach the_ _ **thought**_ _of drinking_ that _!?}]_

.

Later that week, in a similar fashion to Lambo, Lancia came to Tsuna in a bit of a funk. "Tsuna," the tough-looking teen, whined, actually _**whined**_ , "Lambo was complaining about how I'm too much of a stick in the mud... That isn't true is it, caro mio?" Tsuna sobbed mentally, 'Hie! What happened to his maturity?'

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A/N: It's a lil' bit short, sorry dearies.


	3. Notice Me?

**3] Could Sempai..** ** _Not_** **... Notice Me?**

 **A/N:** Number three, m'dears. Here we go~! It's Reborn and Bermuda this time~~! Yeahaha... the Arcobaleno choices were my friend's pick.. Aha.. :P Oh well, it's a character writing exercise, it's fun!

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 _[{WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO BUY COFFEE?!}]_

* * *

Before his high school career started, Tsuna could and would tell you he wasn't popular- now though, as a second year, he would complain about his popularity- oh no, he wasn't a difficult person to like once you got past his insecurities and his safety wall, or got him out of his head, Tsuna Sawada was a very charismatic, warm, welcoming and attractive person; that was part of his popularity, and that part he didn't mind. You see, it was the fact the many of his schoolmates and upperclassmen were very, very attracted to the more.. decisive and commanding.. side of his personality- in addition to his usual quiet, sweet and oft-unassuming presence.

And when I say many, I mean _many_.

Among the brunette's many pining suitors were best friends Takeshi Yamamoto, Hayato Gokudera, Enma Kozato, Hana Kurokawa and Kyousuke Sasagawa; crazy acquaintances Chrome and Mukuro Rokudo- twins, aie..-, Chikusa Kakimoto, Ken Joushima; _devoted_ underclassmen Haru Miura, Lambo Bovino, I-Pin Chang; and of course his very, very, extremely.. _determined_... upperclassmen: Kyouya 'The Unchained Carnivore' Hibari, Fon 'The Crimson Hurricane' Hibari, Ryohei 'EXTREME!' Sasagawa, Renato Reborn 'I'll-kick-your-ass-six-ways-to-Sunday-if-you-so-much-as-look-at-me-funny.-I'm-tough-as-diamond-covered-titanium-nails-and-super-smug-and-sexy-and-I'll-get-away-with-it' Sinclair, Bermuda 'If-you-thought-Sinclair-was-bad-you-obviously-haven't-dealt-with-me-before.-I'll-end-up-kicking-yer-sorry-ass-into-next-century-if-you-cross-me' von Veckenschtien, Ieharu Basil 'Shakespeare' Sawada, Ieyasu Giotto 'Hot-damn.-He's-creepier-than-I-expected' Sawada and Dino 'Wild Bronco' Chiavarone.

(That is, if you were keeping track, 20 some-odd suitors listed... Hiie!)

And yes, two of his determined suitors were his cousins- not that Tsuna wanted to know why, at all- and the rest were friends/acquaintances of his. There were more people, but Tsuna tended not to think of them, as he also tended to fall prey to panic attacks if/when he thought about the 25+ men and women he's inadvertently charmed- as it so happens the ones he interacted with the most tended to, more or less, be less of a handful and more of a headache-and-a-half. (Despite that, he still regarded them with affection- mostly...)

But there were times. Oh, there were times.

Times like this- where he was stuck between two of his most.. dangerous.. suitors- Reborn Sinclair and Bermuda von Veckenschtien. 'Oh boy.' Thought Tsuna despondently, 'Things do not look good... Damned _if_ you say something; damned if you don't. _Shiiiit_...' In some dark corner of his mind, Tsuna realized he was in some twisted high school fantasy, sandwiched between two attractive upperclassmen.. and then he realized that his sempais were both able to _easily_ pick him out of a crowd, they **_always_** _noticed_ _ **him**_ _!_ He internally groaned- thinking of that damning phrase- 'Senpai, notice me!'- personally, he thought of one much more relevant to his life- 'Could Senpai... _not_... notice me?'

* * *

 **Yeah, could Senpai _not_ notice _him_?**

* * *

 **A/N:** xD

We're done cracktastic chapter 3! Yay! ([]OTL, I can't function... too much sugar and caffeine, and it ain't even the hols yet.. xD xD Aha... :c No mo' coffee for me tonight...)


	4. Friends to Lovers: Friends to more

**4] Friends to Lovers!**

 **A/N:** _TakeTsu and HayaTsu! Yey! Imma be lovin' this dynamic- overt vs. subtle jealousy, and smug.. and, and, flirting, and teasing, and copping feels- damned if Tsuna doesn't_ _ **not**_ _notice it... (This is a very close to MRL-kinda prompt and I'm having a lot of fun with this!_ _ **;D**_ _So.. yeah, pardon if these lovelies are out of character- the lines between the canon, the fanon and my own head-canons blur. Like, severe Gaussian blur; like 'WTF-does-that-sign-say?-I-forgot-my-goddamned-glasses-AGAIN.'_ _ **:3**_ _{(Literally my life, guys. I broke my glasses, like 3 times within the span of 2 weeks. :') I make myself sad sometimes. T- T GDI.)}_

 ** _Ahahahahaha... yeah..._**

* * *

 _I also suppose I should say I use lover as in 'intimately-affectionate'- um- lovers don't have to be sexual in nature- I tend to use 'lover' in a non-sexual, yet still romantic context._

* * *

 _[{For a change of pace, I'm having tea. I enjoy tea. My BF says I'm a tea snob. *gives a snobby head tilt, sniffs* I'm not sure if I believe that necessarily... **c;** }]_

It was one of those days. Tsuna didn't even need to lift his head from his desk to know it was one of _those_ days. It wasn't even a Monday. No, no.. he woke up earlier than his Kaa-san, was actually able to cook something, made himself a bento, made Hayato and Takeshi lunch too- knowing his best friends' habits already: the baseball idol was up early to help his Pops, but then was out the door to- yeah- a baseball practice, or over to Tsuna's place; while the cryptozoology/UMA fan was up early checking on his weapons- hie!- and walking from wherever it was he lived to the Sawada house- again, hie!- so it really was a good thing Tsuna was up early enough to make breakfast for himself, his mother, his hell-tutor, and his little siblings. Pain in the backside, yes. Worth the smiles from his mother and siblings and the approving nod from Reborn? Also yes. Worth seeing his two most precious friends' eyes light up? Oh, most definitely, yes.

.

After ensuring that the house wouldn't burn down if he went to look outside, he went to do just that- see if a certain pair of boys were outside his house. Lo and behold- a certain green-eyed, silver-haired 'demolitions expert' was walking up towards the front gate. From the opposite direction, a certain tall brunette was making good time towards a certain house. And from within said house, the tell-tale patter of feet rang clear to Tsuna: Nana had roused earlier, and had woken up the three little ones- as for Reborn, the hitman had been awake- that Tsuna could tell, anyhow- for a good half-hour before Tsuna himself. Breakfast this morning would be interesting.. in a good way though, Tsuna's instincts assured him; however, that did little to dispel the urge to shudder- he _just_ knew something particularly devious went through his tutor's mind- how, he knew not- but it would involve himself no doubt, and no doubt also involve his Rain and Storm Guardians... ' _How is this gonna pan out?_ ' Cue sweatdrop.

.

During the... interesting.. breakfast that followed- involving 'thinly'-veiled 'insinuations' of flirtation- cheers Reborn!- and the usual unmitigated chaos that is Tsuna's life. The steps to a successful morning- waking up on time or earlier, making and eating breakfast, dressing for the day, making yourself presentable- you know, morning routines...(Right, right, keep tellin' yourself that, dear, maybe one day it'll stick..)

.

After breakfast, Tsuna returned to his room to grab his satchel, sweater and to adjusted his collared shirt, which had somehow been buttoned oddly. 'How did- what? I could have sworn it was buttoned properly five minutes ago...'

* * *

As soon as Reborn was certain Tsuna was out of earshot, he turned to the Storm and Rain Guardians- an impish glint in his coal black eyes and a smirk on his face. "I propose a little... game.. of sorts..." He trailed off- that was a hook. "A game?" The boys echoed, interest colouring their voices, "What kind of.. game?" Posed Hayato, slightly wary, having felt a cold tingle down his spine as the diminutive hitman spoke. Takeshi, on the other hand, had a brighter spark of interest in his eyes- noticing this, Reborn's smirk intensified. "The kind of game that will let you finally confess to Dame-Tsuna- and if by any chance you want- say- private time with him.. I won't say no..." Line. The interest in the young mens' eyes intensified, most obviously, the idea of spending some.. private.. time with a certain adorable brunette was.. delectable.. oh yes; letting the object of their affection know of their intent- to love, to kiss, to cuddle, to have and to hold him so, so tightly. The shorter boy was so precious to them. And Reborn could read their emotions plain as day: sinker. He got them, and damn, this is gonna be a fun experience. Get Tsuna into, aha, compromising positions with, say, another boy and see the jealously unfold? Hell yeah. Watch as Tsuna wraps the swordsman and bomber even more tightly around his little finger completely inadvertently? Heh, of course.

* * *

As he walked out of his room, Tsuna had the premonition of even more, unparalleled chaos. He shivered.

* * *

 _[{I just discovered the beauty that is apple cider in a cinnamon chai- it is amazing... :D}]_

 _Reborn looks like he's plotting something... That might not be a good thing..._ Tsuna caught a glance at the absolutely unholy smirk the chibi hitman wore, and immediately he paled, _Kami above.. have mercy on my soul..._ Tsuna also got the impression that if it totally wouldn't ruin his reputation as the greatest hitman on the planet, Reborn would be cackling madly.

* * *

The young hitman was of many emotions: confusion- due to being asked to take a fall; incredulity- said fall was to literally bump into a young heir to get his suitors to step their games up; excitement- **_THE_** Reborn called ** _him_** ; and apprehension- one of the young heir's suitors was **_THE_** Hurricane Bomb Gokudera. And that didn't exactly mean that the poor contracted fellow would survive his 'flirtatious' encounter. Y'know, until he actually met the cute little bugger known as Tsuna Sawada; then the consequences of his mission just kinda blurred out, the more important thing was to break down Tsuna's wall of obliviousness-to-romantic-intent. (He has his work cut out; not that he's gonna be the 'hero'- that distinction goes to Haya-kun and Take-kun.) (Much to his chagrin..)

During his first encounter with the young heir, the hitman wasn't sure how to act to get Sawada's attention. Thankfully, (not for him though, poor bastard), Reborn solved that problem rather underhandedly; he posed a competition, between Iozzo Nico- a young freelancer looking for some cash and entertainment, and Tsuna's Storm and Rain Guardians- Gokudera Hayato and Yamamoto Takeshi; the World's Greatest Hitman proposed that each of the three strapping young men prove their affections to Tsuna, whilst fending off attacks from the other two. Oh brother, this can only end in bloodshed and a headache for Tsuna...

* * *

 ** _[{Also, did you know Earl Grey tea and vanilla ice cream are, like, one of the best things ever?}]_**

* * *

So... Yeah... This took me like, three months to write out. Also, this is particular section is a multi-parter. It will have a sequel eventually.

So ducks, as always, please, let me know what you think!

Lilac is _(over-caffeinated, thusly, the joke is redacted.)_

I- I didn't know that was a thing...

Aaanyhow, I'll just be seeing you ducks around,

Ciao for now,

\- Lilac


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